Weird Al Yankovic

I woke up this morning
Then I went back to bed
Said I woke up this morning
Then I went right back to bed
Got a funny kind of feelin' like
I got broken glass in my underwear
And a herd of wild pigs is trying to chew off my head
You know what I'm sayin'
Well I ain't got not money
I'm just walkin' down the road
Said I ain't got no money, honey
So I'm just walking down this lonely old road
Well, I wish I could get me some money
But I forgot my automated teller code
I was born in a paper sack in the bottom of a sewer
I had to eat dirt clods for breakfast, my family was so poor
My daddy was a waitress
My mama sold bathroom tiles
My brothers and sisters all hated me
'Cause I was an only child
I got the blues so bad, woo
Kinda wish I was dead
Maybe I'll blow my brains out mama
Or maybe I'll, yeah maybe I'll just go bowlin' instead
I'm just a no good, scum sucking, nose picking
Boot licking, sniveling, groveling, worthless hunk of slime
Nothing but a low-down beer bellied, bone headed
Pigeon toed, turkey necked, weasle faced
Worthless hunk of slime
Guess I pretty low self image
Maybe it's a chemical imbalance or something, I
I should probably go and see a doctor about it
When I've got the time
Make it talk
Aw, make it talk, son, make it talk
OK, now make it shut up
Plagues and famine and pestilence
Always seem to get me down
I always feel so miserable whenever I'm around
I wish somebody would come along
Stick a pitchfork through my brain
I'd flush myself right down the toilet
But I'd just clog up the drain
I got the blues so bad
Kinda wish I was dead
Maybe I'll blow my brains out mama
Or maybe I'll go bowling
Or I just might go bowling
Maybe I'll just rent some shoes and go bowling
Maybe I'll join a league, enter a tournament
Put on a stupid looking shirt and go bowling instead
Yeah